And Then Put Out The Light

Every once in a while, about three or four times each year, the indiligent, unconscionable people who appointed themselves in charge of the building where we live decide that those of us who live here can do without water for a day. I do not mean that there is no hot water or that there is no cold water. There is no running water whatsoever. They turn it all off. The excuse is that the water towers that hold the water supply need to be cleaned from time to time. I would have no problem with this if it were what actually happens. Water towers do indeed need a good cleaning every now and then. The pipes around here are old enough, and the water source is suspect enough that drinking tap water is advised against. Every year people die from drinking local water. This is not Montezuma’s revenge. This is Quetzalcoatl’s revenge. Some people boil the water before cooking with it. I simply cook with bottled water, which itself may or may not be loaded with contaminants.

My issue with completely closing off all avenues of running water to clean the water towers is that I have never seen anyone actually clean the towers. I know where they are. I pass several very large tanks every time I take out the garbagie. When we lived in the three bedroom apartment in the better building I could see the towers on top of the adjacent building from my bedroom window. On more than a few occasions that the water was turned off I checked for signs of activity and found none. It is possible that I was simply looking at the wrong time, but when the water is off between 8am and 6pm and there is no one anywhere near the water towers between 8am and 6pm I have my doubts.

The one good thing in this entire situation is that they let us know when they are going to turn off the water. They usually post notices in the elevators. This was not always the case. They used to simply turn it off and let the residents wake up to a world without running water. Eventually people started to complain. A major difference between Chinese types and what I like to call rational humans is that the Chinese types often wait a very long time before complaining about anyone in any position of any authority screwing them over. We humans complain right away. The powers that be may never support any change that we can believe in, but we certainly can complain.

About a week ago I noticed a notice announcing that the water would be off on Sunday from 8am to 6pm. Why they always do it on Sundays is beyond me. You would think that they would turn off the water during the week when most people are at work rather than on the one day when most people are most likely to be home. Such is Chinese logic.

As I always do, I prepared for the big day by filling a few buckets with water. This is mostly unnecessary since I can always use bottled water to clean, wash and brush that which needs to be cleaned, washed and brushed during the affected time. Bottled water cannot, however, flush the toilet. Buckets can. The streets of this city already smell bad enough. I can do without my home smelling like everywhere else.

But a funny thing happened at 8am, as far as I know. I was asleep. The water remained on while the electricity turned off. This was fairly obvious to me as the air conditioning was off when I awoke.

One of the most annoying idiosyncrasies of living in this building is that the cheap, lazy bastards who own it turn off the air conditioning every winter. The entire building is equipped with central air and not those individual units that dangle out the window. This is convenient most of the time, but terribly inconvenient when they render the air conditioning useless. This may be November for all I know, but I still require air conditioning during sleepy time. Our humidity stays on from late January to early January. It is not especially hot, and I rarely use air conditioning during the day, but I want it on when I am asleep. When I found it off, I thought that they had turned if off for the year. November is far too soon to play that game. They usually do not bother to turn it back on until March. Four months without air conditioning would be entirely unacceptable. The time that it is off is based on when the cheap, lazy owners of the building, and not the residents, think that it is not hot enough for air conditioning. Why it is not simply left on and up to the residents to decide when they are hot is more of that Chinese logic that escapes me. It would make sense to me if the cheap, lazy owners could save money by turning it off, but we all pay for our own electricity.

Every once in a while, about three or four times each year, the corrupt, extortionist puppet masters who decide what everyone is to do, say and think decide that certain parts of the city can do without electricity for the day. I have no idea what the excuse is. Entire blocks are shut down for the day for reasons unknown to those of us who are not important enough to need to know such things. Again, it is always done on Sundays. Since most people are at work on weekdays from 8am to 6pm they probably use very little water. But electricity is something we all use whether we are at home or not. I had thought about buying ice cream the last time I went grocerying, but fortunately, did not.

Not long after waking up I realized that it was the electricity that was off and not the water. Although without electricity there was no hot water. The water is heated by a gas tank which is activated by an electric motor. The stove is also gas, but requires electricity to switch on. The toaster oven and rice cooker are purely electric. This makes cooking anything fairly difficult.

My computer can run for about two hours on the battery, but connecting to the internet requires electricity. On one such day when the electricity was off and the Wife could not watch her local whacky game shows on the color television set, she suggested that we watch a digital video disc, or what the kids call a DVD, together. I let her figure out why that was never going to work. It is nothing to do with stupidity. She is far from stupid. It is simply a case of Chinese logic. If the peasants have no bread, let them eat toast.

I had prepared for the loss of water with buckets, but could not prepare for the loss of electricity. There is little one can do short of eating all the ice cream before it melts. As there was no ice cream in the apartment this was not an issue.

The reason I thought that we would lose water was the notice in the elevator. It said that the water would be off on year 100, month 11, day 27 from hour 8 to hour 18. It even pointed out that 8 to 18 is ten hours. Proof that these people are good at math. In human terms this translates to 8am to 6pm on Sunday 27 November. There is always the possibility that I misread the notice, but I know the difference between 水 and 電. Knowing what I know about the cheap, lazy bastards in charge of this place and the culture’s complete lack of pride in their work or any semblance of efficiency and honesty, I would say that it is more likely they who were mistaken. Their Chinese is better than mine, but when they fuck up they could not care less. If I printed a notice with such a mistake I would correct it and print a new one. They would simply ignore it, if they even noticed, and feel that they have done their job. 没事.