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25 December 2011

Paul McCartney, You Cheap Bastard

I have spent the better part of the last thirty plus years defending Paul McCartney from John Lennon fans. This is not so much a daily occurrence as something that comes up once or twice every decade. John Lennon fans, much like music critics, tend to dismiss McCartney as a lightweight who writes only “pizza and fairytales”, as Lennon once said. According to McCartney. Lennon never said this publicly, so we only have McCartney’s word for it. Yoko Ono very publicly told us all about a private conversation with her husband wherein she compared his songwriting with McCartney’s and said, “You don’t just rhyme June with spoon”. I can think of no song where McCartney does indeed rhyme June with spoon, but it is a fair point. Some of his rhymes are questionable.

When the real thing goes wrong
And you can't get it on
And your love she has gone
And you got to carry on


“Going Down On Love”

I took my loved one out to dinner
So we could get a bite to eat
And though we both had been much thinner
She looked so beautiful I could eat her


“Well Well Well”

You were caught with your hands in the kill
And you still got to swallow your pill
As you slip and you slide down the hill
On the blood of the people you kill


“Bring On The Lucie (Freda Peeple)”

“Hands in the till” would make perfect sense, but he says “hands in the kill”.

The theory seems to be that McCartney writes the silly love songs while Lennon wrote the political message songs. True enough, McCartney wrote a silly love song with which he anticipated his future mocking and named “Silly Love Songs”, but that is far from his worst song. Unless you listen to the Donny and Marie, Sonny and Cher version. That is absolutely horrible. But the Wings Over America version ass kicks. And Lennon indeed wrote more than a few message songs. Although I doubt that he would agree with some of the messages today.

Free the prisoners, free the judges
Free all prisoners everywhere
All they want is truth and justice
All they need is love and care


“Attica State”

You live with straights who tell you you was king
Jump when your mamma tell you anything
The only thing you done was yesterday
And since you've gone it's just another day


“How Do You Sleep?”

The first two lines are more about Lennon than McCartney and the last line is bad timing. When Lennon wrote it he had no idea that “Another Day” would soon top the charts and make McCartney a bag full of money.

To say that Lennon was the angry lyricist and McCartney wrote the merry melodies is nothing short of ignorant. Lennon wrote more than a few ballads and McCartney invented heavy metal, according to some idiots. It was the head banging flute solos of Jethro Tull, not McCartney, that won the first heavy metal Grammy. Lennon was a great lyricist, but he could write banal crap as well as the next icon.

When you're by my side
You're the only one
Don't you run and hide
Just come on, come on
So come on, come on, come on


“Little Child”, written in 1956

Come on, come on
Come on, come on
Come on is such a joy
Come on is such a joy
Come on is take it easy
Come on is take it easy


“Everybody’s Got Something To Hide Except Me And My Monkey”, 1968

Hold me darling
Come on listen to me
I won't do you no harm
Trust me darling
Come on listen to me
Come on listen to me
Come on listen, listen


“Whatever Gets You Through The Night”, 1974

At the same time McCartney was writing songs like these:

Some day you'll know I was the one
But tomorrow may rain so I'll follow the sun


“I’ll Follow The Sun”, 1958

Blackbird singing in the dead of night
Take these broken wings and learn to fly
All your life you were only waiting
For this moment to arise


“Blackbird”, 1968

My eye cries out a tear still born
Misunderstanding love in song


“Love In Song”, 1975

People tell me that I should prefer Lennon to McCartney. How come no one older than me ever seems to understand. “Help” was the song that got me interested in the Beatles in the first place. “Yesterday” is a nice little song, but I have always thought it overrated. I prefer “Strawberry Fields Forever” to “Penny Lane” and “I Am The Walrus” to any other Magical Mystery Tour song. But what makes “Strawberry Fields Forever” and “I Am The Walrus” great songs is the combination of Lennon’s lyrics and “all that artsy fartsy shit” that Lennon complained about McCartney adding. Both songs were simple ballads before McCartney whipped out the mellotron. McCartney’s reasoning for being more experimental on Lennon’s songs than his own is dubious and now he has to live with the myth that Lennon was the artsy one while he was safe and middling. At this point in their careers it should be obvious that McCartney is far more open to experimentation than Lennon ever was.

But if you look at each Beatles album and compare McCartney songs with Lennon songs, I am more likely to prefer the McCartneys right from the beginning. The big vocal performances on Please Please Me are “I Saw Her Standing There” and “Twist And Shout”. Lennon gets all the credit for screaming his song, but McCartney actually wrote his song. With The Beatles, their weakest album, has the standout McCartney track, “All My Loving”. A Hard Day’s Night, Help, Rubber Soul and Abbey Road are pretty even. Lennon comes out ahead on Beatles For Sale. But McCartney dominates Revolver, Sgt Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Band, The Beatles and Let It Be. Yellow Submarine is evenly split between McCartney, Lennon and Harrison. Pound for pound I think McCartney gave more for the Beatles than anyone else.

Comparing their solo careers is simply unfair. John Lennon only released six proper albums in his lifetime. He has no real live album since he never toured after 1966. He only released one compilation album. Yoko has since released over a dozen.

Paul McCartney has released 19 studio albums so far, not counting Give My Regards To Broad Street, which is really a soundtrack album, and Run Devil Run, which is far and away superior to Lennon’s Rock’n’ Roll. But McCartney was sober when he did his. He also has a dozen experimental albums, ranging from amusing to what the fuck was he on, and five so-called classical albums, including two oratorios, a ballet and whatever the hell Standing Stone is supposed to be. His great weakness is in releasing a live album every time he goes on stage. To his credit he has only released three compilation albums, though each has the same dozen songs. Most of Wings Greatest is also on All The Best and almost every song on both is on the first disc of Wingspan.

This is where the trouble starts. While Lennon mostly released something and moved on (if you ignore Yoko’s attempts to rewrite history), McCartney is the George Lucas of music. All of his studio albums either have been or will be reissued as deluxe super special edition CDs. Band On The Run has been released as a regular album, special anniversary edition, part of the “Paul McCartney Archive Collection” and the “Paul McCartney Collection”. You can hear the song “Band On The Run” on 14 different CDs, excluding bootlegs. Will we ever get out of here indeed.

The Guinness Book people declared McCartney the most successful musician ever, in terms of sales, back when people read books. Sales of new material since then have plummeted. He has not had a #1 single since 1984 or top ten single since 1993. In all fairness, singles simply do not sell the way they used to, and the way all music is marketed and sold is completely different than it was before McCartney started dyeing his hair red. His albums still sell well in a market more concerned with single downloads than full length albums and his concerts always sell out quickly.

But McCartney wants more money. It is generally acknowledged by people with no access to such information that he is a billionaire (in US dollars), but one of his largest sources of income, his music publishing catalogue, has taken a hit since downloading music replaced record stores. McCartney compensated by leaving EMI after 45 years and taking his music to a much smaller company that offered him a much bigger piece of the pie. Your typical international superstar songwriter/performer makes about $1 per CD sold. As his own publisher and copyright holder, McCartney used to make about $2 per CD. With Hear Music, he reportedly gets $4 to $5 per CD. This is one reason McCartney was reluctant to sell music online.

Back before Steve Jobs was burning in Hell, he wanted to sell everyone’s music for 99 cents per song, whether they were Elton John or Milli Vanilli. But the Beatles (ie, McCartney and Yoko) felt that “Hey Jude” should probably be worth more than Five Man Electrical Band’s “Hello Melinda, Goodbye”, based in part on the court decision in the case of Let’s Be Fair to Everyone v. Some Shit is Just Better.

A typical Beatles album has fourteen songs. At 99 cents per song an entire album would sell at a bargain basement discount price. This gives McCartney a much smaller flame of pie, especially since he has to share the performer’s royalties with three other people and the songwriter’s royalties with Yoko, ironically. When he tried to change the songwriting credit on some of his own songs, Yoko successfully cockblocked him in court.

To make up for the loss in record revenue, McCartney started playing more concerts and charging concert promoters more money. In the ‘70s, the height of his toking and selling power, McCartney played three small UK tours, one European tour, and one hugely successful world tour. In 1989 he played his first world tour in thirteen years. Since then he has had four large world tours, three European tours, and four North American tours.

I went to three different shows of the Flowers In The Dirt tour (which was called something else) and probably spent less than $100 total on tickets. I have no idea how much concert t-shirts cost, but I must have considered the price reasonable at the time as I bought a few. And we were all given free tour programs that were more like novels (by today’s standards) than tour programs. I went to one show of the Driving Rain tour (called “Driving Tour” or something equally unimaginative) thirteen years later and spent more money on one ticket than all three tickets from the previous tour. Concert programs were more expensive than free and t-shirts were outrageous, but I bought one anyway because I knew that this would be the last time I saw the man live. My very cheap tickets to the first tour were all good seats while my expensive ticket to the last got me one of the worst seats I have ever had at any concert. I could see the stage with a telescope, but there were fireworks that I could not see at all.

Much of the blame for high concert prices can be placed on concert promoters and the evil Ticketmaster, but people like Paul McCartney who demand exorbitant salaries should feel guilty that their music, rock and roll, the music of the masses, can only be enjoyed live by bankers, carmakers and anyone else to whom Congress gives billions of stringless taxpayer dollars. Or at least people who see credit card debt the way their government sees public debt.

Now McCartney’s website wants to make a profit. I can understand selling his music via his own site. Most music is sold or stolen online, so there is little reason his site should not offer his music for a high fee. But they have recently gone beyond charging people for songs and videos. Now they charge people to be members of his website, as if any non-midget animal porn website is worth paying just to look at.

For the incredibly high price of £32.50 per year you too can have a “Premium” account at his website. What do Premium fans get that unimportant fans do not? Exclusive access to content you already have if you bought his albums. Plus personalised full length audio streaming, complete with improper British spelling, creatively called the “Jukebox”. This is an electronic device familiar to old people who dye their hair red but will mean nothing to the younger hipsters who have enough disposable income to pay to be a member of some website. With the Jukebox, the important Premium fans can play their favorite Paul songs right from his website. After going online, signing in, logging on and clicking all the right buttons. Simply amazing. Sign up today or be forced to play music offline like an asshole. Elite Premium members can also watch all the videos that are on Youtube and were on that $35 McCartney Years DVD from the inconvenience of his website. But wait. There’s more. Premium members also get a free Chinese sweatshop t-shirt. Not really free if you remember that you paid £32.50, but cheaper than any concert t-shirt.

But that’s not all. If you thought it would be, lo unto you. Act now and the first 5000 people with credit cards and nothing better to do can become elite “Pioneer” members. These are the real fans, so they get exclusive access to exclusive content befitting their important stature, which is much better than anything those Premium douchebags get.

Are you a true fan? Are you unemployed or at least have the free time of an unemployed person? Do you like spending all day looking at a website dedicated to a single person? Do you want yet another online account that looks and acts pretty much like Facebook where people try to collect the most “friends”, ie, anonymous strangers? Sign up today.

(Offer void in most of Asia, Africa, South America and probably Antarctica. Must have a Facebook, Twitter, Yahoo or Google account to become a Pioneer member.)

It is his website and he is free to do with it what he wants, just as the rest of us are free to ignore it or worship it as if it were a television program about people just keeping it real. My complaint is that Paul McCartney, the guy who said love unto others as you would have them love unto you, has turned a previously innocuous if relatively useless website into a cash register that classifies and segregates his fans purely on how much money they are willing to spend on him. My name, or some retarded “screen name” like MaccaFan1964 or Meigouren, has never been on his website. It will neither harm my real life nor my online fantasy world (where I am taller) should anyone think me not a Pioneer fan, Premium fan or even inexclusive regular member. But I am disappointed that McCartney is cultivating such a dystopian commune at the one place online where people can fawn over him without making it painfully obvious what poofs they are.

Or perhaps I have gotten too old to appreciate the stampede of progress. I used to enjoy going to the record store, flipping through the stacks of LPs until my fingers were dirty, paying my $2.50 and listening to the album while reading the lyrics or looking at the cover art. The first time I heard “I Want You (She’s So Heavy)” I thought that the record skipped at the end. My Rubber Soul LP consistently skipped at the end of “I’ve Just Seen A Face” (which was on the American version of Rubber Soul), giving it an extra bar that I thought it was always supposed to have until I heard the CD version. These are peculiarities that the digital generation will never get to appreciate.

On my last visit to Tokyo, where Tower Records is alive and well, I bought Paul Simon’s So Beautiful Or So What, which I did not know existed, for something more than $2.50. When I brought it home I copied all of the songs onto my computer. I have listened to it several times but have never looked at the lyrics. I cannot even picture what the cover looks like. I am thinking baby’s face, but I know that is the previous album. I have abandoned most of the old ways, mostly because I am usually doing something else while listening to music (eg, Mind Games is playing on the Windows Media Player as I type this), but I have not embraced the new ways. I have not bought so much as a single song online. I illegally downloaded most of Billy Joel’s catalogue back when Napster was, but all of my legal music purchases still come in CD form.

While 69-year-old Paul McCartney uses the latest technology to milk even more money from his fans, I am still tilting at online social networking sites as if they were windmills. I cannot shake the feeling that they might be giants.

I also got Miscellaneous T in Tokyo.




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