Easy your life.

Update History

09 August 2012

A World After It’s All Small

Through no fault of my own, I have been to every Disneyland in the world. I was forced to go to Disney World and Disneyland as a child, though I suppose there are worse crimes against children. I continued going to Disneyland of my own free will as a teenager. Further proof that teenagers have poor judgement skills.

The Wife and I went to Tokyo Disneyland on our first trip to Tokyo together because we had very little time and we simply could not decide between which three of the million things there are to do. We assumed that we would have more time on future trips to Tokyo and would be able to see more of the city then. But on our next trip to Tokyo we went to both Disneyland and DisneySea, mainly because a water Disney sounded like an interesting idea when we first heard about it.

We went to Disneyland Paris for reasons I still do not understand. I can think of better things to do in Paris. But on this trip I spent six hours inside a Louis Vuitton, so clearly there were priority issues.

I first went to Hong Kong Disneyland because I had several hours between checking out of the hotel and the flight, and the park is on the way to the airport. More or less. I do not recall my excuse for subsequent visits to Hong Kong Disneyland.

They are building a new one in Shanghai. There is no way to know whether I will ever go to that one. But it will be interesting to have a Disney park in a totalitarian state where most of the world needs a visa.


Disneyland MTR
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Tokyo Disneyland has its own JR station, Disneyland Paris has its own metro station and Hong Kong Disneyland has its own MTR station. Disneyland California would probably have something if public transportation existed in Southern California. But Hong Kong Disneyland goes further than everyone else with their own MTR trains. Rather than get off the dirty public subway onto the Disney station, you have to take a clean Mickey train just to get to the very clean station.


Promenade
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Hong Kong has the smallest Disneyland in the world, not for lack of space. The park is surrounded by empty space. From the main entrance you have to walk through an open promenade which could easily house another land just to get to the ticket windows. There are small statues here and there, and in the middle is this fountain.


Aquasphere
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

DisneySea incorporates the finest Disney tradition of making things look nice on the surface and the Japanese tradition of letting far too many people fill a very limited space.


Main Street USA Train Station
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

I read somewhere that Tokyo has the only Disneyland without a train station. I think this is false.


Le gare de Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


Main Street Train Station
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2006


Main Street Train Station
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Hong Kong’s Main Street is supposed to resemble California’s, but it feels nothing like it. For my money, Tokyo felt more like California than any other.


Sleeping Beauty Castle, Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007


Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005


Le Château de la Belle au Bois Dormant, Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


Sleeping Beauty Castle, Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007


Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
from DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


Mt Prometheus, Mysterious Island
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

Either I planned the last two shots five years apart when I knew almost nothing about DisneySea or it is a coincidence. Or Haneda Airport is just across the bay.


Cinderella Castle, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

The biggest difference between Tokyo and California, besides the Haunted Mansion, is World Bazaar/Main Street USA. Tokyo’s Main Street USA is called World Bazaar even though it is pretty much just like other parks’ Main Street USA. The only real difference is that the front entrance is covered, probably because Tokyo gets more snow than Orlando and Anaheim. The shops are still turn of the previous century Main Street (USA). It opens up to an uncovered town square that leads to the other lands and the castle just like every other park.


World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005


Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Paris’ Main Street USA has no Tokyo covered entrance, but the side streets that lead to other lands are covered.


Main Street USA
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


World Bazaar
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

Tokyo Disneyland on a slow day.


Main Street USA
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

No other street in Hong Kong is this clean, empty and open. But the people walking in the middle of the road and the car driving in the center are accurate.


Mediterranean Harbor
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

DisneySea’s version of Main Street USA, probably called Mediterranean Harbor instead of Main Street USA because it looks more like a Disney version of a Venetian Renaissance harbor than a 20th century street in downtown Happyville, Missouri.


Mediterranean Harbor
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


New Orleans Square, Adventureland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

Anyone who knows Disneyland California will know where this is.

Tokyo looks very much like California except for the corporate sponsorship. Disneyland probably has sponsors now, but that is not how I remember it (outside of Tomorrowland). And their sponsors probably do not include Japanese beer and Japanese department stores.

California and Tokyo are the only parks to have New Orleans Square, Mickey’s Toontown and Critter Country.


Phantom Manor, Frontierland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

Phantom Manor is very different from other Haunted Mansions. It has its own story and characters. The outside looks like it should be a condemned building. The garden and surrounding grounds are dead. The inside is less child-friendly. The Paris ghosts are not so happy go lucky. California is Casper, Paris is Poltergeist.


Haunted Mansion, Fantasyland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

The biggest difference between Tokyo and California, besides World Bazaar/Main Street USA, is the Haunted Mansion. The Tokyo version copies the Florida version and looks nothing like the California version.


New York Harbor, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

They obviously put a great deal of thought into the park’s appearance. This is good if you like fake architecture, but not so good if you want to go on rides.


New York Harbor, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


Cape Cod, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

People waiting in line for an hour to get popcorn. This is not a joke. In the time it took me to climb the lighthouse that you are not supposed to climb (the sign should be in English as well as Japanese), these people got a small bag of popcorn.


American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

The unusual thing about American Waterfront is that it actually is on the water. Port Discovery and American Waterfront border Tokyo Bay. The rocks and trees are imported and artificial, but the water is straight from the Pacific Ocean.


La Plage des Pirates, Adventureland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


Adventureland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Adventureland became Pirateland during the summer of 2007. They were obviously whoring one of those Johnny Depp movies.


La Plage des Pirates, Adventureland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


Jungle Cruise, Adventureland
Disneyland
Anaheim, California circa 1978


Jungle Cruise, Adventureland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007

Hong Kong’s Jungle Cruise is set in an Asian river delta rather than African, which seems far less exotic when you are actually in Asia. But they still have African elephants, gorillas, rhinoceros and other African animals.


Port Discovery
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


Westernland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Tokyo’s Frontierland is called Westernland because apparently there is no word for frontier in Japanese. Whereas the Japanese know all about adventure, tomorrow, fantasy and cartoons with gigantic eyes.


Mark Twain Riverboat, Frontierland
Disneyland
Anaheim, California 1989


Arabian Coast
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010


Japanese rat worship
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2005

I hate parades. I hate Disneyland parades even more. But this was the Wife’s first Disneyland and Disney parade and she wanted to watch it. She was not the wife at the time, so I caved in. The things I do for the ladies.


Mysterious Island
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

Mysterious Island is shopping and food. There are two rides. But you have to walk through air conditioned caves to get to it. It seems to be based on Paris’ Discoveryland.


Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


Fantasyland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2006


Les Pirouettes du Vieux Moulin, Fantasyland
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006

The ride was closed several years ago, but they have yet to tear it down, transform or replace it.


Tomorrowland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007


Tomorrowland
Tokyo Disneyland
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

The most obvious difference between Tokyo and Hong Kong, beside signs in Japanese and Chinese, is that Tokyo is filled to the rim every day while Hong Kong is as empty as a Mormon’s cup.


Tomorrowland
Hong Kong Disneyland
Hong Kong, China 2007


The 2nd version of the main entrance sign
Disneyland
Anaheim, California circa 1978


Number 3 or 4
Disneyland
Anaheim, California 1989


Le plus heureux des sorties sur de la Terre
Disneyland Paris
Marne-la-Vallée, France 2006


SS Columbia, American Waterfront
DisneySea
Chiba, Tokyo 2010

The SS Columbia houses shopping, an interactive aquarium and restaurants. One of the restaurants is supposed to be a cruise ship dining room. The other is the Teddy Roosevelt Lounge, which specializes in sandwiches because when you think of Roosevelt, you think of sandwiches. The aquarium does not have animals from the bay or animals from anywhere else. It is interactive because you can talk to the cartoon sea turtle on the monitor that is supposed to be a tank, and it will talk back.





Most Frequently Used Labels

Most important for honor to making drive with eye close (7) How can it be an accident when they drive like assholes on purpose? (3) Let your family get their own dreams to the reality (3) Police don’t ask me how I feel – I feel fined (3) When you travel to a city with a rich culture and history try to visit its theme parks (3) And I ask myself why were there no strippers at my wedding (2) Get out the way old Dan Tucker (2) Holy Mother tramples the heads of the Earth fire dragon (2) I hate the fact that I need an electronic device in my life (2) I was tired of walking anyway (2) It is indeed like rain on your wedding cake (2) No colors were harmed in the taking of these photographs (2) What the Zagat guide doesn’t tell you (2) Why is not now if it fight? (2) And they don't even hold a grudge (1) Aucune couleur dans la fabrication de ces photgraphs n'a été blessée (1) Brother can you spare a thousand dimes (1) Castle Of The King Of The Birds (1) De Cultuur van Amsterdam is de belangrijkste van Nederland (1) Does one person really need 500 shoes? (1) Dorénavant je ne parlerai pas même Français (1) Everything I know about right and wrong I learned from M*A*S*H (1) From Genesis to Revelation in one run-on sentence (1) Hast du etwas Zeit für mich - Dann singe Ich ein Lied für dich von Wien und Österreich und das sowas von sowas kommt (1) He doesn't care too much for money since money can't buy him love (1) I am tired of typing tiny dirt farm village (1) I knew there was a reason I never go to Dallas (1) I participate in all your hostility to dogs and would readily join in any plan of exterminating the whole race. – Thomas Jefferson to Peter Minor 1811 (1) I think I saw Walt Disney’s frozen head in the popcorn line (1) If I were a half decent photographer anything I shot in Africa would make you say Great Mbleka - this place is awfuckingtastic (1) If Jesus exists then how come he never lived here (1) If Nelson Mandela exists then how come he never lived here? (1) If Rodney King lived here he’d still be alive today (1) If you wish to be starting some thing you have got to be starting some thing - I say if you wish to be starting some thing you have got to be starting some thing (1) If you’ve seen one crowded polluted stinking town… (1) It is make unluck to give a shit (1) It is super and strong to kill the wound dint (1) It’s actually a pretty enormous world after all (1) Keine Farben wurden im nehmen dieser Fotos geschädigt (1) Me no like (1) Most greatest blog post is ever was (1) NOT ALLOW (1) Never trust a man who can only spell a word one way (1) No humans were harmed in the taking of these photographs (1) Not counting the last one (1) Old people got no reason (1) Peace and easy feelings (1) Peter Brown never called me (1) Planes and trains and boats and buses characteristically evoke a common attitude of blue (1) Probably the best time I have ever had at one of my favorite places in the world (1) Red is the color that my baby wore and what's more it's true - yes it is (1) Slap tjips - jy maak my nou sommer lekker skraal mos (1) Strike up the band and make the fireflies dance (1) Suicide is Painless but booking trips at the last minute around here is a pain in the ass (1) The day the music died (1) The lingering acrid scent of $5 whores never impresses the little lady back home (1) The one about my first trip to Amsterdam which doesn’t really say anything about my first trip to Amsterdam (1) The woman who will be the mother of my illegitimate children just as soon as I get that time machine fixed (1) They might as well be dead when the rain comes (1) Think about how stupid the average person is and then realize that half of them are stupider than that (1) Those godless French bastards never once offered me any vodka (1) Tiny metal rods (1) To boldly be our guest a long long time ago where no man has gone before under the sea (1) Unfortunately to get to nature you have to go through civilization (1) We’ll kill the fatted calf tonight so stick around (1) What good is a used up world and how could it be worth having? (1) Who is this Red Rose that just walked in the she hot stuff (1) Why Julia Child never lived here (1) You make kill we make kill so all same ok (1) Your lateral cuneiform is full of eels (1) scenic Bali (1) spellcheck this (1)

All content © 2004-2013

myfreecopyright.com registered & protected






















I have no qualms about disseminating creative works for the public benefit when the author is duly credited, but if you use any of the writing or photography contained herein and try to pass it off as yours, that just shows you are a big pussy who is too lazy to come up with your own word usements or shoot your own digital paintings. You should be ashamed of your dipshittery.